Ahh many times we've made the attempt to be good Christians. We've talked about it, looked at it but never really accepted it into our lives. This time feels different. This time feels more real, more solid, like something that I can wrap my hand around and feel and hold close. Maybe it's the struggles we go through, maybes it's the past rearing it's ugly head, maybe it's the triumphs we have seen and felt, maybe it's just the right time. No matter the cause, I feel dedication. I feel an invisible push to be better, to do better, to do right, not for my own cause, but because if feels like God wants me in this direction. Maybe I'm finding comfort in our Sundays at church, maybe I feel like I'm back home after a long rocky leave of absence. Maybe I'm growing up and willing to accept life in a different structure than I was before. Maybe I want my children to have the same church memories I have and I want them to have the faith and belief that God is in all things. I'm not really sure. I search my soul and some days I'm a mess, other's I'm feel strong and on point. Each day is different. Each hour is changing, each minute brings me closer to God.
My Mamaw has been on my mind, I know she's watching over us, she shes my shortcomings, my struggles and she loves me anyways. I know God is with her, keeping her safe and now that she is not hindered by her earthly body she's happier now. I know she would be proud of the direction I am trying to take. My children's baptism would mean the world to her. I miss her.
Blogging may help, but I want to track this journey, I want to make moments on paper that my kids can ready for themselves later as I strive to be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. I want to put their memories where they can read them later on. So here's to blogging, here's to life and love, and here's to family and the greater glory of God.
"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven."
No comments:
Post a Comment